Tag: Parenting

Bliggety Blogs · Parenting · Primary

YouTube’s 2020 Kid’s Content Changes: Why The New Policies For Kids Hurt Parents.

Little Journeys EverywhereLeave a comment

For those of you who frequent the YouTube space on the internet, you may have heard of the wide sweeping changes that YouTube has put into effect as of January first. Originally meant as a response to YouTube being sued by the Federal Trade Commission or FTC and the New York Attorney General, the lawsuit proved that Google and YouTube, owned by the former, was in violation of COPPA, the Children’s Online Privacy Protection Act. Google had to pay out a whopping $170 million dollar fine for the violation for its collection of the personal data of minors without their parents’ consent. This data is collected in order to place targeted ads on video content. I won’t go too far into that because COPPA actually isn’t what I’m going to talk about today.

This post isn’t about the enormous ramifications that COPPA, while well meaning, is having on YouTube’s content creators themselves. I’ll leave that up to Matthew Patrick at the Game Theory/Film Theory channel who does a far more detailed deep dive and can give a personal accounting of the issue. I’m not a YouTuber, after all, I’m a blogger. His video on COPPA and it’s affects on video creators can be found here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pd604xskDmU&t=966s

Then why mention it at all?

Because I want to talk about the changes YouTube put into effect in response to this suit. These new policies went into effect on January 1st, 2020. No big deal right? YouTube should be a safer place for our kids, right?

Well, yes, but at the same time, as a mother of a toddler, these changes are, well…

They’re a pain in my ass.

‘Holy jammers, Journeys, what the blob?’ you might be thinking.

That’s right. I said it. These new policies are a pain in the ass for parents. Sound cray cray? Let me explain.

So in our household, as well as many, many others, we use streaming services instead of cable. Hulu, Netflix, Disney +, etc. Out of all of these, for us, YouTube is king. It’s got Paw Patrol but also FilmComicsExplained. There’s HomeschoolPop and also Gordon Ramsey swearing at gross restaurant kitchens. Wanna learn how to play Pewdiepie’s Congratulations song on piano? Watch Live PD while doing laundry or just put some sweet, soothing jazz on for Quiet Time? All this and more. It has something for everyone and everything.

On that note, we let Little Maxwell have her “tv time” in the mornings. I put on whatever show it is that she wants to watch that day on YouTube while I go and do housework or write. A lot of times, I would use the ‘queue’ feature to manually add things for her to watch that would keep her interest, that she wanted to see, and that I knew were age appropriate. Other times, I would put on a pre-made playlist either for simple entertainment or for our homeschool. It would have things like the HomeschoolPop videos, book read alouds, Kids Academy, and Emily Arrow’s book songs.

Now you can just forget about that shit.

In order to make their site more “child friendly”, despite the fact that is exactly what the YouTube Kids app is for, YouTube made the following changes to what I’ll call YouTube Main, their main site.

No longer can you:

  • Comment
  • Add to a playlist of any kind
  • Get notifications even if you are a subscriber to that channel.
  • Become a Member of a channel.

Those are just for us, as viewers. The changes on a creator/channel level are even larger. What’s the big deal about these being locked down on kids videos now?

I can’t put together homeschooling playlists anymore.
I can’t be notified when my daughter’s favorite channels post new story videos.
I won’t be able to help support my favorite channels with a Membership.
I won’t be able to vet the content that my child sees as well or as easily.

Say I’m scrolling through the recommended feed looking for the latest ProfessorStick video and see that an upcoming read-aloud channel did a video of Little Maxwell’s favorite book. I won’t be able to add that video to my Watch Later list or the playlist I have that’s three-year old appropriate. The best I can do is give it a Like and hope I remember to go scroll through my Liked Videos history later to find it after I sacrifice my brain cells on the altar of debunked Flat-Earther claims.

Now I could always put it on a show and just leave it up to the Auto-Play feature to steer her to the next video, right?

You know nothing, John Snow.

Leaving it on autoplay inevitably leads to a different show than the sweet Draw So Cute episode that you left it on and that one leads to another show and so on. Before you know it, your kid is watching something you would really rather not have them watch, like some sort of badly animated freak show excuse for children’s programming.

Sorry, Little Maxwell, you’re show is f*cking creepy. Swerve!

You turn it back to the original, parent-approved safe show on a flat Color Form kid going on adventures, but by then the damage has been done. They’ve been exposed to aforementioned freak show and decide that it’s their new favorite.

Thanks, YouTube. Thanks a lot.

The point I’m getting at is that every time YouTube has some scandal and puts new policies in place to fix it, they tend to…overcorrect. And the nasty thing about overcorrecting is that it often leads to you driving, screaming, right into the path of other unsuspecting motorists.

Unfortunately, this time it’s the creators and the users, the parents, that are left confused and bleeding on that pavement.

With Peace and Passion.

Ta!

Additional Resources:
*FTC.Gov: https://www.ftc.gov/news-events/press-releases/2019/09/google-youtube-will-pay-record-170-million-alleged-violations

*MattPat’s video on COPPA and Youtube’s Changes: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pd604xskDmU&t=966s

Longer Than Forever, My Love For You: a poem.
Parenting · Primary

Longer Than Forever, My Love For You: a poem.

Little Journeys EverywhereLeave a comment

When you were a baby, I would sing to you every night.

I kissed your fingers one by one.

Your eyes and cute button nose.

Sometimes I was frustrated and cried as you cried, 

Deep into the night. 

Other times I could barely stand it,

The rush of amazement when I watched you.

The love that overwhelmed me,

So strongly that I could weep beneath the surge.

Now that you are older, I still sing to you.

Oftentimes, you sing too.

But always, always, is my love for you a melody,

That I will carry with you beneath my skin,

Inside of my veins and with every beat of my heart.

Always am I with you, 

Just as you have always been with me.

From the moment I was born.

To the moment you were born,

And every second of every day afterwards.

Longer than it would take

For the last star to die out. 

My breath be yours.

My heart beat for yours.

My every hour lived for you,

My sweetling, My dove,

My angel, My love.


Adventures In Unschooling · Parenting · Primary

Snapshots Of A Day In The Unschooling Life

Little Journeys EverywhereLeave a comment

Hello all! I wanted to give you all a sort of short peek into some of the things we might do during the typical unschooling week. Maybe this will give you ideas about what you might do with your own kids whether they be unschoolers or traditionally schooled. Either way, these are activities that not only encourage educational learning but mental, emotional, and social skills, fine and gross motor skills, and life skills.

We built an easel that her aunt gave her for Christmas. It helped develop her fine motor skills, confidence and determination, and engineering. As we worked, I showed her the letter labeled pieces on the instructions and she learned the names of the hardware bits we used (nuts, bolts, etc.)!
Art time getting to use the easel we built!
Playing board games! This is the Paw Patrol Mighty Pups board game she got for Yule. It encourages turn taking and other social skills, fine motor skills, counting, following directions, and decision making. It was fun! 🙂 See my upcoming review of the game here soon!
Rainy day play! It was warm out and had been pouring, leaving big puddles outside! We love rainy days because of this opportunity, at least as long as there’s no thunder or lightning. We go outside and I let her get as messy as she wants before we go in and have a nice hot bath. It encourages a lot of the sensory processing skills and experiences that so many of our kids are lacking nowadays. Little Maxwell has been treated in the past for sensory processing disorder so these outdoor messy play days are especially important for her. After we have them and she’s all clean, she’s calmer, happier, and far more easy to engage in other activities. She even sleeps better! Sensory experiences can make a huge difference for kids of all neurodiversities. And the best place to get those experiences is outdoors.
Night time play! Another day where it was warm. Soaking up the opportunity, we took our dinner outside for a picnic under the stars and to watch the fanfare that was our neighbor’s Christmas light projectors. Little Maxwell was enraptured! She wanted to know how it worked and explore the play of light on the house next door. It was also an excellent opportunity to point out some constellations and talk about stars and planets!
Exploring some resin bug gems with a magnifying glass so we could see all the different parts and pieces and how some of them are even shiny and different colors! Bugs collected ethically.
Some evergreen seeds we planted sprouting up! These will eventually become giant spruce trees that will help provide oxygen to the world as well as a home and shelter for many other creatures, plants, and fungi. We named this seedling ‘Ever’. 🙂 Planting seeds of all different kinds, especially ones that kids can help harvest and eat or use is an excellent way to encourage sensory experience, science knowledge, life skills, and helps grow and understanding and love of our natural world and all of the processes and creatures that make it up. For those of you who may be wondering, the orange peels inside of the planter help keep our cat away! The other plants behind is a cutting from a succulent that was once my grandmothers, then my mothers, and now mine. And eventually, when she’s old enough to care for it on her own in a few years, Little Maxwell will get a cutting for her very own! A multi-generational succulent! How special! 🙂

These are all just a few things that we get up to during the week. Rain or shine they are opportunities to be found outside and inside. There important life skills That children can learn that they’ll use for the rest of their life. Just a few examples from these snapshots are reading instruction diagrams, learning how to use tools and other hardware pieces, confidence and taking on projects, independence, astronomy, reading and writing, math skills. Maybe more important than all of those, however, is a love and passion for learning and a curiosity. The confidence and self-determination to do and learn on her own, without someone having to cram that learning down her throat.

Kids don’t need to be forced or coerced into learning. If you just give them the tools and step out of their way, You will be amazed what you see them do, create, and pick up all on their own. Admittedly, it is a little bit of a leap of faith. It can be scary sometimes wondering if you’re doing the right thing but then, one day, you look over and realize that they’re reading the words in their books without every being taught. Or they are building these massive complicated structures, picking up a musical instrument that they saw on TV, maybe even learning something like how electrical currents work in a circuit or how to build a computer program, without any teacher assigning a single piece of homework.

They can do it. They are capable and they only need you to give them the chance to show it. All we have to do is get out of their way.

With Peace and Passion.

Ta!

Adventures In Unschooling · Parenting · Primary

Library Books From Home: Libby!

Little Journeys EverywhereLeave a comment
Image taken from resources.overdrive.com.

Libby is a companion app for the previously reviewed Overdrive library app, the both of which are put out by Overdrive Inc, a subsidiary of Japanese e-commerce giant Rakuten. Overdrive Inc also developed a book and audio book app specifically for schools called Sora that I will also be reviewing here soon! The three apps are used to connect library accounts and read or listen to books and magazines, watch videos and checkout resources from libraries where you hold an account, completely on the go! The best part? No late fees! Materials are removed automatically from your account and you even have the option to renew materials from the app as well! I’m pretty interested in checking out Sora tomorrow!

For today, however, we go to Libby.

It’s cute. That seems to be the prevailing commentary about it. I’ve had a local librarian comment when asked about it that Libby was user friendly and it’s interface is more simple. That it was cute, and to their credit, it is cute. Regrettably, that’s about the extent of It’s noteworthiness. My experience was quite the opposite of user-friendly. I found it to be very buggy whether on my Chromebook or on mobile. I can’t speak to how the iOS version is, but the Android version that I used was glitchy and frustrating. Granted, this is what I have to say about it as far as the end of 2019. I am certainly open to re-reviewing it in the future should these issues be addressed.

This list of issues and my thoughts on the app I do plan to send to the development team and I have refrained from leaving a starred review in hopes that these bugs will be fixed and I can review it again in the future. I had high hopes for Libby because I love and use the Overdrive app so much.

There isn’t a single day that goes by that I’m not using it for personal reading/listening or using it for our homeschool. I love that I can link my library accounts for two different local libraries as well as the account we have with the San Bernardino public library in California. We can check out books from all three libraries on a single app and it’s wonderful! I only wish I could say the same for the Libby app.

Granted, the bugs one person faces may not necessarily be an issue for another. Some apps can face similar issues if internet connection is sketchy or if the app is behind on an update, etc. I will be going into my review of the Sora app with an open and optimistic mind and that’s exactly what I hope you will do with Libby! If you face a  similar experience as I did then leave feedback! The developers for an app can only fix issues that their users know about after all!

With Peace and Passion.

Ta!

Yuletide Celebrations: What It Looks Like For Today’s Pagan Family
Primary · WakingWitches & WanderingWunderkammer

Yuletide Celebrations: What It Looks Like For Today’s Pagan Family

Little Journeys EverywhereLeave a comment

Tis the season, friends! Time for giving and receiving the birth of the God! 

For Christians and many Pagans!

That’s right, we’re talking Yule and then, a few days later, Christmas. For those of you unfamiliar with what Yule is, allow me to make a brief explanation.

Decorated evergreen trees, wreaths of seasonal plants. Lights and a dazzling display of green and red everywhere. Mistletoe and Holly. Fires and fireplaces lit and good things to eat. Singing, dancing, and warm feelings all around as we head in the return on the light and the birth of the King, our God.

Sounds familiar, huh? 

That’s right. There aren’t that many differences between Pagan and Christian celebrations! In fact, our mixed families blend together almost identically at the holidays! With a few exceptions that we are going to discuss today.

Our little family of three are Pagan and make few questions about it. I’ve highlighted a lot of the similarities between our celebrations from our Christian relatives so how exactly does Yule look different for us? 

One thing we do that our friends and family don’t is the decorating of our altars. We celebrate Yule on the 22nd of December and on that day, we decorate our personal altars and our family’s ancestor shrine with natural, seasonal decorations. Things like pine boughs, cedar, holly berries, etc. We hang a decorated wreath. 

We also give special offerings to the newborn King and the wise Crone Goddess. Usually something that we’ve made ourselves since it had more value. Maybe solstice cookies that we can enjoy as well as offer! Some other options could be candies and mulled wine, little cakes, maybe even some fruits. We do this to give special thanks for the return of the sun and remember all of the blessings we’ve been given over the year. 

Yule is a great time to remember those that haven’t been as blessed as we have. You can do it too! One year, I bought fleece blankets to give the homeless that I passed by. You may feel called to give to toy, coat, or food drives, buy a local homeless-sold magazine, support a charity, or even something smaller but just as meaningful. Shovel an elderly neighbor’s walk/drive way or offer assistance making treats or wrapping goodies.

A similarity that we see between celebrations is a push towards togetherness. Cozy, warm, and loving. Tonight, we played a board game before dinner and then ate our meal picnic-style outside while watching our neighbors reindeer light projection play on their house. I showed Little Maxwell the belt of the Orion constellation and, my personal favorite, the Pleiades cluster. 

We celebrate Yule not only as the solstice but as the birth of the infant God to the Crone. She stirs her cauldron and the seasons spin their cycle. As the year turns, the Goddess goes from being Maiden, to Mother, then to Crone. He similarly goes from being the Child, to the Lover/Warrior in the summer time, to being the Wise King or Sage in the autumn. The wheel of the year turns. This, at least on the part of the God, is a parallel to the Christian Jesus. He is born as a holy infant, the Savior Child, then becomes a young man and Teacher. While He is crucified before Jesus becomes a wizened man, the Father God is the next step in the cycle after Jesus returns and rejoins His father in Heaven. 

Whether you follow this line of thinking or not, whatever your path, there aren’t as many differences in Yule and Christmas as people may think! We do and enjoy many of the same things like presents under the tree, stockings, and gingerbread houses. We unwrap one gift each from one another on Yule and then the rest on Christmas with everyone else. We do get fruits like oranges and grapefruits in our stockings along with all of the other candies and bits. There may be oracle decks and crystals under the tree alongside new clothes, toys, and that sweet, sweet Game Theory merch that I’ve been dying for.

Paganism and Christianity don’t necessarily exist in conflict. They don’t have to and, in fact, it’s we as people who have pushed this narrative throughout history. There are more similarities than there are differences and not just in my family’s own practices, in beliefs and faiths worldwide!

We are all sisters and brothers, mothers and fathers, on this earth and at this time of year, we all gather together to share love and warmth together. Just like the spirit of Christmas, the spirit of Yuletide begs us to take a moment of reflection to recognize the blessings the year has brought on this turn of the wheel. To spend time with those we cherish and to give with heart and gladness. 

So, as a favorite Yule song of mine says, 

‘On this winter holiday, Let us stop and recall, 

That this season is holy to one and to all.

Unto some a Son is born, Unto us comes the Sun.

And we know, if they don’t, But that all paths are one.’

With Peace and Passion.

Ta! ❤

Nature Schooling/Homeschooling on a Dime!
Adventures In Unschooling · Primary

Nature Schooling/Homeschooling on a Dime!

Little Journeys Everywhere1 Comment
We found a Male Box Turtle!

‘Wait what?!’ You might be thinking to yourself, ‘Surely this must be alliteration or some sort of scam, right? This broad is totally trying to sell me something.’

Wrong! 

That’s crazy, right? With the mainstreaming of homeschooling and even forest or nature schools (see my two part post on Nature school!), resources abound out there like they never have before. Organizations like the Homeschool Legal Defense Association, or HSLDA, stands between families who home educate and those who would try shady, underhanded, and even illegal tactics to block access. Basically, it has never been easier, better, or cheaper to home educate your family!

Yes, I said family. After all, they don’t call us lifelong learners for nothing! 

This post is going to focus mostly on cost-efficiency. As those of you who read my Nature Schooling posts may remember, we use the Exploring Nature With Children year-long curriculum from raisinglittleshoots.com and let me tell you, I cannot sing its praises more. It covers reading, poetry, science, classic art/classical music, nature studies (obviously), arts and crafts, gardening, writing, you name it. The only thing I would say it generally lacks is math skills but that’s easy to supplement with real world application. Real world application meaning not keeping your child in a “kid bubble”. 

What’s a “kid bubble”? It’s something we all do, honestly. Even me! It is when we tell our kids that they’re too little to do something, too young to help, that they can do it when they’re older. And I’ll admit it. Sometimes, it’s just less frustrating and more expedient to just do it yourself, but that isn’t a them problem, that’s a you problem. A me problem, as well, if I’m telling the truth. I’m not always as patient as I could be but it’s so important to nurture that desire in them to meaningfully contribute as early as possible because otherwise? You’re going to have a hell of a time getting them to want to if you wait until they’re tempestuous teens.

Your four year old son wants to help make dinner but you don’t want him to get in the way of the giant pot of boiling 5-alarm death lava? Have him set the table instead! Then he can go gather the rest of the family to the table. 

Your little girl wants to help with the dishes? How about having her put the silverware up or dry off the cups? 

Laundry? Have them match socks, empty the lint filter, or put in the softener sheets! Teach them how to fold hand towels or put shirts on hangers! My three year old loves doing these so don’t think they’re too young! If they’re showing interest, they’re ready!

Let them bring in grocery bags. Collect dirty laundry from around the home. Dusting, checking the mail, picking up sticks in the yard before mowing. Do you notice something about all of these tasks? They aren’t meaningless platitudes. They are legitimate steps of your tasks that you would otherwise have to do yourself. They are things they can do that meaningfully contribute to the running of the household. Doing this not only makes life easier on you but teaches them essential life skills that they would have to pick up on their own as young adults. 

Now how does all of that have to do with supplementing math skills? 

Baking and cooking involves basic addition, subtraction, fractions. It involves ratios and serving amounts, conversions and temperatures. These are all essential math skills but also practical ones! Let them help you do the shopping budget and then track how much you’ve spent as you gather groceries! As they get a little older, let them help balance a checkbook or even keep their own for their piggy bank. Just remember to check their math! Examples of other things are endless.

But back to cost-efficient educating! All of those math examples are just one aspect of a well rounded education after all. 

RaisingLittleShoots’ blog posts weekly supplemental resources and activities to go with that week’s theme as well as a free downloadable calendar of the themes for the entire year. If it is an option for you, please buy their curriculum to not only get the full, rounded experience but to help support all of the amazing work they do! That being said, using those weekly themes and resources, it is not difficult at all to pull together your own schooling experience from that.

For example, this week’s theme is Christmas Plants, which I am super excited for! The extra resources for this week are already up on the blog, so using those you can also go to a local friendly garden center and check out their seasonal offerings! Look up more and check out books on the plants there: what they are, where they grow, etc. 

There are herbs that grow year-round so you can do a tasting activity or use some to do some baking and sneak in some math skills. If you grow your own herbs, you could even talk about how they should be properly harvested and allow them to gather their own. This makes for an amazing sensory experience as well.

Go outside and have a plant hunt to see how many wintery plants you can find then sketch them in a journal, paint, or even make a model or diorama. The composer Vivaldi has musical pieces for each season but you can easily compile a playlist to listen to while you work or play. Find classical art pieces that may center around or include element of the theme. Learn about the history of it! Also I can’t say it more than I already do but YouTube, YouTube, YouTube! There are so, so many wonderful videos on every subject you can think of from science videos for kids to drawing or musical tutorials and more book reads and reviews than you could shake a whole tree at. 

As for standard homeschooling, all of this still applies! There are loads of free curriculums online and so many free printables that have really amazing things you can use. All of these cover the financial aspects of home educating but what about the legalities? Subscribe and follow to find out when I cover it in my upcoming post ‘The Legal Side: Homeschooling and the Law’!

With Peace and Passion.

Ta! ❤

Exploring Nature With Children: https://raisinglittleshoots.com/buy-exploring-nature-with-children/

Raising Little Shoots Blog: https://raisinglittleshoots.com/blog/

Free Calendar: https://raisinglittleshoots.com/exploring-nature-with-children-20192020-calendar/

HSLDA: https://hslda.org/content/

Nothing I Wouldn’t Do
Bliggety Blogs · Parenting · Primary

Nothing I Wouldn’t Do

Little Journeys EverywhereLeave a comment

Last night, for the first time in quite a while, Little Maxwell had a full blown meltdown. I’m talking top of the lungs shrieking, unable to even understand English, back arching, writhing meltdown at 1:30 in the morning. Very suddenly and for no discernable reason. 

Now, she and I co-sleep but when Daddy Maxwell is home on his two nights off a week, she sleeps either in a palette on the floor at the end of the bed or in the living room. He was absolutely exhausted after our insanely busy day and the patience tide was out. The screaming and crying was just a bit much on him after being woken suddenly by it though I had still been awake. So when she wasn’t able to calm herself and couldn’t be soothed, I went to plan B.

I scooped her up in my arms while she flailed, screamed, and fought and carried her into the living room. I’ll admit, it was mildly aggravating at first. I’m no saint and I’m just as human as the next underslept stay at home mom. The shrieking was at a pitch that could shatter glass, grating and ceaseless. Her arms and legs flailed while her back bent like some sort of stunt double for the Exorcist movie and knocked me once or twice. 

When she gets this way, inconsolable and so overwhelmed, overtired, and overstimulated that she can no longer handle the world, the best way to handle it is twofold. 

Take her somewhere quiet, dim, and away from other people.

Get her arms and legs tucked or facing away from you and hold her arms down with the rest of her torso in a bear hug. Don’t squeeze the hell out of her. After all, you’re not trying to pin her for a ten count or suffocate the kid.

I held her like that until she calmed. Her arms stopped jerking and spine stopped bowing. Her cries trickled to silence. In fact, after a moment I realized that, just as she had woken up suddenly having already reached critical mass, she had fallen right back to sleep with her hands still covering her face. 

My aggravation and frustration faded quickly, something that sort of surprised me. Honestly though? Her meltdown was more than a little justified. In fact, I would go as far as to say that we should have anticipated it. 

The last four days had been a blur of errands, appointments, and pre-holiday obligatory nonsense. None of us had slept well all weekend. Two park visits, three shopping trips, five doctors appointments and a partridge in a freaking tree. It had been hellish even for a neurotypical adult.

Little Maxwell is none of those things. 

She’s a three year old little girl with a sensory processing disorder that makes the world an overstimulating place to be at times. It means that things that others take for granted and don’t even think about because they’re so ordinary can be upsetting and even painful for her. Lights are brighter, sounds are louder, textures more distracting. Her body doesn’t move in the same way other kids’ do. She doesn’t bend over and sitting “criss-cross apple sauce” was a practiced skill that she was very proud of once achieved. The point being that I couldn’t exactly be angry at her for something that she had little to no control over. In fact, being sick for two of those days because of a pharmacy snafu, I could empathize. 

So I held her and whispered love to her quietly, gently until she fell asleep.

Even then, I just held her there in my arms for some time, watching her sleep like I often did. It was something that I’d done every night when she was a baby and even as a rambunctious three year old, I still made sure to cover her up every night after she dozed off. I’d had this weird fixation on whether she was warm enough at night ever since she’d been born. Though admittedly every mother probably has their “thing” that they fixate on when it comes to their babies.

Watching her like this, it reminded me of how sweet she was. How crazy in love with her I was. Even during the moments that seemed so awful, so terrible while they held us in their sway, there was nothing in the world I loved more than this child in my arms. Sure, we all go through those days. The tantrums, the vomit, the “OMFG why in the seven hells are you still awake at midnight?! Go the Fuq to sleep!” nights. The pointing at obese women in the supermarket and loudly declaring that she was “fat” without the faintest idea of social propriety or appropriateness. We’ve all been there in the disputed blockades of parenthood but one thing stands true in the depths of the night as the sleep sweetly and soundly in our arms.

There isn’t a thing in the world we wouldn’t do, nothing we wouldn’t tear down, no dirty feet boo boo we wouldn’t kiss, and no meltdown we wouldn’t endure for our baby.

With Peace and Passion.

Ta!

The Elf-On-A-Shelf Tradition: An Unpopular Opinion
Parenting · Primary

The Elf-On-A-Shelf Tradition: An Unpopular Opinion

Little Journeys EverywhereLeave a comment
Or else…!

Happy December, friends! Tis officially the season for spiked eggnog with breakfast, elastic waistbands, Christmas tree cakes, and the tense hair-triggered anger that comes with an overload of holiday stress and seasonal depression.

Let’s not forget that age-old classic tradition, the Elf-On-A-Shelf.

Okay, so today I’m sharing my thoughts on this secret agent of Santa. I’ve shared these opinions before and they are never well received, or at least I get some really strange looks and one accusation of being “unAmerican”, whatever that means. 

I am suggesting here today that the idea of the Elf-On-A-Shelf is actually detrimental to the long term positive behavior of our tiny overlords. 

What the hell, right?

There is actually quite a lot of scientific data to back up this claim though, and it all has to do with what motivates our little bundles of booger-picking joy. So what is intrinsic and extrinsic motivation? 

Intrinsic means that whatever motivates them, whether it be kindness, a sense of responsibility, or just not wanting to be a little bog-trog, comes from within themselves. 

Conversely, extrinsic motivations, things like bribes (“If you stop screaming, I’ll buy you the toy, okay?”) and threats (“If you don’t stop that mess right this moment, I am going to spank you into next week!”) and emotional manipulation (“You are making mommy so so sad right now. You are breaking my heart!”), come from outside. 

I encourage you to read more deeply into the psychological aspects of this in children in Rae Pica’s book ‘What If Everybody Understood Child Development? Straight Talk About Bettering Education and Children’s Lives’. The Parenting Junkie blog and Youtube also have great videos on the topic so go check them out! Especially know what is developmentally appropriate for your child at their age! What may look like your kid being a rude jerk to you may actually be them working through crucial developmental stages and teaching them different ways to assert themselves may be more appropriate and helpful in the long term than punishment.

Now let me put something out there before we go any further. While it is a post for another day, I am not against meting out discipline when it is appropriate. However, I am a big proponent of knowing the why behind what my child is doing. For example, Little Maxwell turns into a cranky monster at bedtime because at the time we are winding down for the night, she gets hungry and has this bizarre second wind that sends her bouncing off the walls into the next county. 

Hungry+tired+hyperactivity at the end of the day= one crabby mommy and an even crabbier child.

The solution I found was to give her a nighttime snack just before bed to fill her belly, cut off screens at least an hour before we started getting ready for bed, and to have some snuggly, mommy-daughter connection time just before bed. Of course nothing is perfect and she is, after all, a three year old, but it helps. Oftentimes what we are quick to label as misbehavior is actually an unfulfilled need being expressed in the only way they are able. When they neither have the emotional intelligence or vocabulary to tell us what their needs are, those unexpressed physical and emotional needs bubble over in some pretty spectacular ways. Just like her epic middle of the night meltdown (see my post Nothing I Wouldn’t Do going live in a few days)!

That’s great and all, but what does all of that have to do with the Elf-On-The-Shelf?

Right. Got off on a bit of a tangent, huh? Okay, so the whole concept of the Elf-On-The-Shelf taps into those extrinsic motivations I mentioned. The elf’s entire bit is, “Hey! You had better behave because I’m always watching you, peeping-tom style to make sure you’re behaving with my weird dead eyes!”

Have I mentioned that they’re also a bit creepy? I mean, some freaky doll watching everything you do day in and day out? It’s just…Just no. 

Bringing it down to basics, it’s this: If a child only behaves because they are going to get something out of it or avoid an unpleasant punishment (i.e. the threat of not getting gifts at Christmas), then they aren’t developing that intrinsic motivation. They aren’t behaving because it’s the right thing to do, the good thing to do. As soon as the external motivator goes away, then they won’t really have much incentive to behave, now will they? As for rewards, eventually you have to keep increasing the reward since getting the same one won’t keep them in line after a while. At some point, you have to ask yourself whether what you’re interested in is quick and dirty compliance or a long-term behavioral adjustment based on right and wrong.

I don’t push old ladies down on the subway because I’ll get arrested. I don’t do it because I don’t want to be an asshole. Because my intrinsic values tell me that is wrong. Our children don’t need threats or bribes to be good people. All they need is for us to lead them with a good example and to be given the opportunity. 

Sometimes we may have to explain social niceties or societal norms to them like not asking why someone is fat loudly in a quiet store or, “Hey if we’re going to play at your friend’s house, you kinda need to put some clothes on”. They are, after all, coming into the world as a blank slate. 

As a whole, our children are not inherently monsters, though sometimes it might feel that way. They don’t need a stalker to keep them in line.

So as for the Santa’s little conspirator, this year it will be the Elf-Not-On-Our-Shelf!

(Or you could just hide the thing each day and not use it as a bribe. Happy middle ground!)

With Peace and Passion.

Ta! ❤

Adventures In Unschooling · Primary

What Does Unschooling Look Like For Us?

Little Journeys EverywhereLeave a comment

People often ask me if we are putting Little Maxwell in pre-K next year. My response is often a rather humorous: “Eh, no. We’re homeschooling.” 

But for us, that really isn’t what we’re doing either or rather not the most accurate definition. 

We’re unschoolers. Life-long learners. Relaxed homeschoolers to some.

What does that look like? 

Well, for us, it looks like…like dancing. Hiking. Shopping. Baking. Picking up trash along our neighborhood or park. Most importantly? It looks like playing! And reading, reading, reading!

I know what you’re thinking. “That sounds great and all but how does any of that stuff equal up to an education?” Actually that’s exactly the point. It is an education. What it isn’t, however, is schooling and there is a stark difference in being schooled and getting an education. 

An education is defined by dictionary.com as ‘the act or process of imparting or acquiring general knowledge, developing the powers of reasoning and judgment, and generally of preparing oneself or others intellectually for mature life’. 

Schooling, however, is defined as ‘the process of being taught in a school. Instruction, education, or training, especially when received in a school’.

It may not seem on the outside like much of a difference but I can assure you, fellow knowledge-seeker, it’s a big one. 

Schooling as we know it now, compulsory and enforced under penalty of law, was a program that came out of the Industrial Age, though in truth the very first community schools came about long before that. It was the Puritans settling the New World who introduced organized education to what would be known as the United States. The idea of enforced education is a rather newer invention.

I won’t wax poetic on the failings of our current school system (in this article, at least). It’s no secret that wide and over-arching changes need to be made but with no quick, easy, or inexpensive fix, we must look to ourselves for the changes we want. How does the saying go? 

‘Be the change you wish to see in the world’- Not Ghandi 

Thanks, Not Ghandi. True fact, that is actually not what Ghandi said. Check it out.

But what can a parent do? 

There’s another saying, you know. Something about expecting different results when you do the same thing over and over. So let me make one point very very clear.

You. Do. Not. Have. To. Do. It. Just. Because. Your. Parents. Did.

Just because your parents sent you off to school with a pat on the head and a backpack filled with stuff you’d probably only use half of, doesn’t mean you have to do the same. At the time when we were younger, even as early as ten or fifteen years ago, there just weren’t the same options that we parents today are blessed with. 

Hell, homeschooling only just became legalized in all fifty states in the mid-90s. I say ‘just’ and then realize that was two and a half decades ago. Still though. As far as educational options and advancements, we have may vast leaps in recent years!

Now there aren’t just public and private schools. There are public, private, charter, magnet, democratic, religious, homeschools, co-ops, Montessori, Charlotte Mason, freaking Forest schools! 

Yes. That is exactly right and it’s exactly what you think. 

School. In a forest. 

Free Forest School Cincinnati: https://www.freeforestschool.org/free-forest-school-cincinnati-ohio/

It is holistic. It is green. It is freaking amazing.

And of course there is my personal favorite: the Sudbury school model.

That isn’t all either! There are new types and methods of educating turning up every day! Just this afternoon, I discovered a new school going in not too far from my home called the Edison School. They favor a multi-sensory learning style paired with smaller classes and more individualized attention per child. Instead of being focused on cramming in x amount of lessons in x amount of time and crossing your figures that Jimmy doesn’t flunk out because he doesn’t understand a concept or two, the Edison school website boasts that they follow the child’s understanding of the concepts and skills rather than a pre-determined, standardized timetable. 

So what the hekkin Humdinger is unschooling?

And for those of you wondering if that was a Paw Patrol reference: Yes. Yes, it was.

Help. The toddlers are inside my brain pan.

Unschooling, unlike it’s forest-dwelling cousin, is not what it sounds like. It does not mean to ‘not school’ though it does involve taking your child out of the public school sphere. Unschooling was a term coined by the late great John Holt to describe a type of child-led, interest-led education that allows the child to take their learning into their own hands and lead the way into their education by way of the things they are most passionate about. It involves a heavy focus on encouraging personal decision making and learning practical skills, knowledge, and, most importantly, how to find information.

In essence, a core aspect of unschooling is teaching the child how to access knowledge available so they can learn what they want to know.

Of course, with very young children this may look like regular trips to the library, family reading times together, exposing them to different things, places, ideas, and hobbies. 

For example, I asked my three year old what she would like to do one Monday, and she told me point blank that she wanted to go to a bakery. So, first, we went to our library to find some books on baking, bakeries, etc, and then we located the nearest bakery and went on a visit there.

Let me tell you something very important. Triple. Chocolate. Bundt cake.

So delicious.

The next week she wanted to visit an aquarium but, unfortunately, there wasn’t one within, oh, about two hours from us. So instead we got creative as you learn to do when it comes to unschooling. We sought out our nearest Petco. 

Sound weird? Well, Petco has freshwater and saltwater fish as well as amphibians and reptiles. They also have educational pamphlets on each species which was a lot of fun to take home and look through. 

Unschooling very much follows the philosophy that allowing a child to live and experience life and the world will educate them far better than any rote-taught classroom can. 

Does my daughter need to know how to factor a trinomial? Providing she’s not going into a math-related field, no. Is it completely necessary for her to know that Shakespeare’s mom’s name was Mary Arden? Negative. How many times China broke apart across history? Gonna go with no on that one too.

Does she need to know how to budget her earnings, how to change a tire, and make healthy and sound decisions? Yes. How about how to be a passionate and kind person? Abso-freaking-lutely. Does she need to know the earth isn’t flat? Oh yeah. We’re heathens, not Flat Earthers. 

How about how to buy and pay for a house? Check. How to compromise and work cooperatively with others? Also check.

There’s a youtuber by the screen name BoyInABand who has the best and most succinct description of this bizarre dissonance in our schooling system in his song ‘Don’t Stay In School’. *linked below

“BUT WHAT ABOUT COLLEGE?!” I hear, enraged from the comment section. 

Colleges, even jobs, are actually becoming very homeschool friendly because it’s being found more and more that homeschoolers tend to have higher levels of resilience, self-sufficiency, and resourcefulness. Most colleges are looking for ACT/SAT scores as well as if you have a diploma or GED. Homeschoolers as well as Unschoolers are just as able to get or do those as any traditionally schooled student and do every day.

Watching my daughter live, experience, learn and thrive every day of her life is the most wonderful, amazing thing I’ve ever done. Just like her, I am also learning every moment of the day. Did you know that a lichen is actually a combo of a fungus and algae living in a symbiotic relationship with one another? Or that a bizarre looking creature called a sea pig is actually a weirdo pink sea cucumber with legs? Or that it has no brain and farts it’s own lungs out as a defense? Neither did I! Sounds like a party animal. So many interesting and amazing things have been opened to our world because we decided to journey down a path less traveled. 

Is unschooling, or even straight homeschooling, the easiest option? No. Would I enjoy the time to myself during the day if I sent her to preschool instead? Probably, but I wholeheartedly believe that my life would be lessened because of it. I live a fuller life getting to take this journey alongside her and I wouldn’t trade it for all of the quiet time in the world. So which path will your own journey lead you down? 

With Peace and Passion.

Ta! ❤

We planted our own pumpkins from seeds to see how they grew! It was awesome to have the pumpkins ready at Halloween time!

Here is a list of other resources for those who may be interested in further research onto this topic: 

*The Guardian- In The Age Of Robots, Schools Are Teaching Children To Be Redundant: https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2017/feb/15/robots-schools-teaching-children-redundant-testing-learn-future

*BoyInABand- Don’t Stay In School: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8xe6nLVXEC0

      And a companion video on teachers reacting and their comments on the video:             (compilation by Taco Inplosion) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ONi4yC7YDtc&t=4s

*Toxic culture of education: Joshua Katz at TEDxUniversityofAkron: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BnC6IABJXOI&list=PLJXtn5fVLYj_-sktHFTbVWn5hAd0FxbWa&index=16&t=0s

*There’s No Place Like Home-Schooling Is Not Education:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d7W0SS3VJ4M&list=PLJXtn5fVLYj_-sktHFTbVWn5hAd0FxbWa&index=83

*The Parenting Junkie- Heard of Unschooling?: https://www.theparentingjunkie.com/heard-of-unschooling/

*Why Parents Are CHoosing To Unschool Their Kids- https://patch-com.cdn.ampproject.org/v/s/patch.com/new-york/rivertowns/amp/28409859/why-parents-are-choosing-unschool-their-children?usqp=mq331AQCKAE%3D&amp_js_v=0.1#referrer=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.google.com&amp_tf=From%20%251%24s&ampshare=https%3A%2F%2Fpatch.com%2Fnew-york%2Frivertowns%2Fwhy-parents-are-choosing-unschool-their-children

*UnSchoolers.com (a whole website dedicated to resources and information): http://www.unschoolers.com/

*Real Family Journey- Unschooling Day In The Life! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PHJgdpY0yQ4 (also another great channel for other videos and resources! I love the book episodes! :D)