In our quiet forest Amongst fallen giants That serve as both table and balance beam Bridge and school house We walk with eyes open wide To the ever changing Yet always the same. To the valley down which we clamber To the stepping stone Our treasured game we shared To the fungi that bracketed Larger than we could even carry To the fallen feather In it’s beautiful blue To your smile Triumphant Bright Radiant as the wings of Horus Upon some challenged feat Accepted and overcome. There, Upon that hill, Within that valley, In the gust of wind Through empty stream bed In the emerald mosses Growing in the shade of ancients, There you will find my love grown evergreen There you will find me Seated on that fallen oak, Waiting for you, Most beloved flower. Most brave little bird.
It almost doesn’t seem real does it? We’ve been in quarantine for three and a half weeks now but it still just feels like none of it is actual happening. The sun has been bright and beautiful. It’s been warm, the height of spring. Yet, we can’t see our families. We can’t leave the house. Security as we knew it is a thing of the past.
People keep saying, ‘well, when quarantine is over...’ It’s so surreal how time has now been separated into Before COVID, Now (during our present pandemic period of flux) , and After Quarantine. I’m starting to believe that even when quarantines are over, when we can finally stop and take a final count of the COVID dead, life is never going to be the same. It will never ‘go back to normal’. I think there will be things that will be forever altered because of this. Things like hand shaking, sitting closely. Seemingly innocent things that now have the stain of insidiousness to them.
Even more damaging, however, is the isolation.
We as humans are pack creatures, social beings hardwired for community and interaction to such a degree that it is a psychological, nay, a physiological, need. The effects of COVID will not just be found in our numbered losses, or measured in our griefs, it will be a far reaching scar upon the minds and hearts of the world as a whole.
We will be seeing vast upticks in numbers of depression, anxieties, phobias, many more and worse, for a long time to come. Just tonight, after a fight to sleep that lasted until an ungodly one a.m., my three year old daughter told me that she hated quarantine and then the net thing she said, the last thing before she finally drifted off, was if her Nana missed her.
Even the youngest of us aren’t exempt from feeling these stings to the spirit.
Keep that in mind as the distanced days grow longer, as they stretch into what is looking to become a quieter, more somber summer. Be patient when your kids act out right now. They don’t have the emotional ability in many cases to process, recognize, or cope with these feelings of sadness, confusion, fear, and isolation. Acting out, as we know it, is always the flower of something more deeply rooted. It is always communication in oftentimes the only way our littles are capable of right now.
The world has become a frightening and confusing place for us. Can you imagine what it must be like for them too?
Feeling a little less stir-crazy? No? Well, at least you’ve entertained those restless natives for a bit! Read on, Journeyer!
Day 16:
Create a plan for your dream vacation and draw, collage, build, write, paint or whatever a piece about it! Show them off to friends online and tell everyone about them.
Day 17:
Skip out on sugar for a day! Is it difficult? Why or why not? Try it out longer if you feel you can and see how long you can go! Tell us here in the comments!
Day 18:
Make a list of the things you’re grateful for today and share it with someone. Reflect on ways that you can let those around you know that they are appreciated.
Day 19:
Make cards for those at your nearest assisted living facility or retirement community and send them in the mail. Use a single large manila envelope or a few envelopes with several cards inside each to save on postage! Many of those in elderly facilities don’t have family to visit and/or get visits very often. These facilities are also one of the places where the COVID virus is hitting the hardest. Receiving a letter could really make the difference in someone’s life today.
Day 20:
Make a meal together and then eat it around lit candles for a cozy time!
Day 21:
Have an electricity free hour each day! That’s right. Think of it like Earth Hour but once a day! It can even be during the day instead of at night, if you want. Not only will it save you money on your electric bill but it can have a positive effect on the environment! Was it difficult for you to do? Is it something you would do more often? Write it down in your journal!
Day 22:
Organize your most cluttered space! Follow the Kondo method! What were you able to say goodbye to?
Day 23:
Family video game tournament! What did you play? Who won? Which game was your favorite and why? What would you play if you had another game tournament together?
Day 24:
Make a giant floor game board with tape or other things! Play tic tac toe, hangman, etc
Day 25:
Family photos! Try different outfits, photo styles, maybe even a fashion show!
Day 26:
Paper ball basketball tournament!
Day 27:
Look through old family photos! Talk about where you were, how you were feeling then. It’s it different from now?
Day 28:
Write a Family Constitution including a mission statement and each person helps contribute a “law” as well. This helps even the littlest find a way to communicate what is important to them and what issues have been weighing on them. Lately, choose a motto! Everyone should help contribute in it’s creation!
Day 29:
Have a chore race or Olympic Chores! Turn each core into a race or game like the Olympics and at the end, vote on gold, silver, and bronze awards!
Day 30:
Unsubscribe from stores and unwanted emails! This will save you so much time, thought energy, and aggravation in the long term.
Day 31:
Clean out a junk drawer or bathroom cabinet!
Day 32:
Focus on Love today! Being stuck inside with stir crazy people for extended periods can be trying on the nerves and patience. Give each other three hugs throughout the day to let each other now that even in the trying times, love is still there.
Day 33:
On a not too cool day, if it’s an option geographically, open the windows, turn on fans, and air out the house! It’s been just as quarantined as you after all!
Day 34:
Try something you’ve never done before! Never done a headstand? Gone backyard foraging? Identified birds in your yard or flowers? Never jogged a mile? Try running around your yard with a step counter! If you don’t have one, there are apps that will act as a (dubiously correct) counter for you.
All of these are things that are not only good for beating that isolation blues but many are also great for you, your household, your pocketbook, or your mental health. Did you finish the challenge? Let us know what you were and weren’t able to do! Did you enjoy it? Let us know in the comments and stay positive, Journeyers!
Emergency homeschooling? Extended spring break? Wondering if you can expel, suspend, or transfer your child out of your class? I mean, you’re just the parent, right? Aren’t there other people who don’t get paid enough to deal with this craziness during the day?
But seriously, we are all prone to restless bouts cabin-fever and our children? Especially so. They are, after all, tiny whirling energy tornadoes shoved inside of skin suits. They already have a surplus of energy but being trapped in the house with nothing to distract them but screens and anxious adults? You’re just asking for them, you, or both to have a nervous breakdown. The flood of fear filling our homes and our social media pages affects them too. They feel it too but have years, maybe decades, less emotional development to cope with it.
So what can we do?
Have no fear! We have arrived here today with a few things that you can do that we’ve been doing in our own home this week! Currently this is day three of isolation for us but I prepared some things to keep us occupied and learning throughout our time inside.
Quarantined? A great time to pull out some Legos, put some music on and have a family Lego night! If you have rather small ones, placing the Legos on a sheet pan or towel like this is a good way to help keep those little pieces from rolling or bouncing away as much! Very small ones can use the larger Duplo blocks or you can just weed out any of the very small pieces from the Legos they are given to play with.
This is our book table! Each day, Little Maxwell picks out two books: one for our “school book”, like the alphabet books for example, and another “just for fun book”. She really loves the Perlorian Cats books even though they’re older than I am! But that’s okay. They were my favorite when I was her age too! So now it’s something special we share together. Usually we end up checking out another book from the library on the Overdrive app as well, usually on whatever comes up that catches our interest during the day or fits our nature school theme.
Plant some seeds! These are cold weather peas that we planted half in our garden and half in pots inside. Kids love the fun of planting a seed and then watching it grow over the weeks until at last they can snap that first delicious victory off of the vine and savor it! A fair bit of advice though: Don’t plant anything that you’re not going to want to eat. Try to only plant things that you know your family is going to enjoy. Otherwise, be it flower, herb or vegetable, what’s the point?Tea party time! This can be especially fun as a before bed treat when you use sleepy time tea. Not only does it have a great taste but my nephews and daughter all seem to enjoy it! Yes, that’s right. Even the boys. You can even incorporate a nice bedtime story while everyone is enjoying their tea!
These are just a few things that you can do to help your kids from losing their marbles and transforming from your sweet boys and girls to agents of hell intend on your doom and immediate demise. They are all also wonderful ways to really spend some quality family time together. Light some candles and let the hygge commence!
Let me know down below what you’re doing to beat the Corona quarantine blues!
My God-daughter was born last night (as of writing this) on February 21st! She is so little and beautiful and, like her mother, is not afraid to say, “Hey, I know that I wasn’t suppose to come for another two buuuttttt deal with it.”
It made me think back to the small leather book sitting in the nightstand by my bed. It was a Father’s Day gift I had given Daddy Maxwell in 2016. When I was pregnant, I started to write in one of those little pocket sized leather-bound notebooks. I wrote a letter to him almost everyday all the way up until I gave it to him when Little Maxwell was just over a month old.
I’ve been contemplating doing the same for Little Maxwell for a while now, writing to her as she grows up about all of her likes and dreams and aspirations. Maybe I’ll start that here. Digital writing can often be better preserved, after all, assuming you keep up with passwords and advances in technology.
Now I want to do one for my precious God-daughter too.
I started writing those notebooks because…Well, we’re not going to be around forever. With all of my health issues, adding the new asthma on top of it, chances are that I probably won’t live to a ripe old age. These notebooks, these letters, are something real, something tangible that I leave behind for them after I’m gone. Something they can touch, something that’s just for them.
They are the truest and deepest writings of my heart, the fullest expressions of love that I can express. With this new addition to my heart, I look forward to writing these letters of love for many years to come.
Welcome to the world, sweet Little Wren.
You make it all the sweeter now that you are in it, here with us.
Hello everyone! As we all know, at certain points in our journeys we often try out new things. Here at the Maxwell home, we’re trying out a new daily routine! We’re always looking for ways to improve upon our health, whether physical or mental, especially with my medical issues the way they are. So, in order to improve upon some things, we’ve started a new daily routine and I wanted to share it with you today.
Routines are especially important for anyone who may be neuro-atypical and both myself and Little Maxwell fall into this category. Even if you don’t, though, just be aware that any change in their usual routine can be pretty difficult for children. Hell, it can be rattling even for many adults! With that in mind, remember to be kind and patient not just with your children but with yourself. None of us are perfect and a routine only becomes a routine after we keep at it!
Another thing to keep in mind is not to be so strict about your routine that there is no room for deviations when necessary. For example, on Daddy Maxwell’s days off, we do our errand running and take our tiny overlord to a few places where she can play with other kids. We usually go to visit her Nana just for the hell of it, at least once, if not her aunts and uncle as well. Remember to make time for close family time too. As I type this, Little and Daddy Maxwell are in our bed having some quiet snuggle time together. Those are the moments that are the most important throughout our days!
With those things out of the way, this is our new daily routine!
Anywhere between 7:30-8 a.m I wake up to spend time with Daddy Maxwell.
Ruin this roasted perfection with sweetener? No, thank you.
I do stretches to get my muscles woken up and work out the stiffness from the night, then my morning regimen of medication with water. After I have water, then I can finally have that sweet, sweet dark roasted ambrosia of the gods. Almond milk, no sugar.
During the time before 9 a.m., I usually write, clean, or game for a little while.
Little Maxwell gets a 9 a.m. wake-up call and she’s allowed to watch her shows or play games on her Leappad (never both at once, though.) until lunchtime.
She gets to pick out what she has for lunch (with mama’s veto if what she wants is, say, gummies) and help with food prep sometimes make it herself with supervision. Afterwards, she helps clean up as well.
After lunch, we take a walk when health permits or have outside play. This is when we’ll usually do Nature School time during the colder months. Usually in the warmer part of the year, we have Nature School before lunch when it’s cooler.
Around 3 o’clock or so, Little Maxwell has Quiet Time when she spends some time on her own either playing quietly or taking a nap but she has the choice of the two. Usually she doesn’t need a nap but sometimes we’ve had a long day. During Quiet Time, I am typically found in the office at my desk or tidying up around the house. This is when I’ll fit in some meditation or yoga.
It’s over at about 5 p.m. but Little Maxwell likes for us to light candles in the interim when the sun starts to go down for “Comfy, Cozy Time”, as she calls it. I’m not sure why it started but it’s become a really nice tradition in our home and the candlelight really does make dinner a more soothing, intimate affair. Besides, it’s good for the electric bill and the environment!
Around six, we do dinner prep and eat together at the table. Dinnertimes are family time for us so we spend it talking about our days and work, even what we saw and learned!
At nine, we feed our pets, I take the last of my medications for the day, and then we head to bed. Oftentimes, once in bed, we do a coloring page together as a nice sort of togetherness moment before sleep. Of course, as any parent knows, a toddler doesn’t just go to bed. It usually takes a whole election season before she actually falls asleep.
At least it feels that way.
That’s when I typically go to sleep as well.
And that’s our routine!
Give or take a few mishaps here and there of course! Even the perfect day doesn’t run on a perfect schedule, as we know. This is the one that works best for us right now but if it doesn’t, then we adjust and keep moving on towards our most passionate, healthy selves. That’s what you should strive for when setting your own daily routine. Is it healthy? Does it leave time for relaxation and down time? Does it take cues and make concessions for you and your child’s development? Or for quality time between you and your partner?
Just remember that you and your child are individuals and each routine has to be unique to you and your family!
Hello my fellow wanderers, explorers, and Journeyers!
Today is a sort of follow-up to my piece on the amazing book titled The Danish Way of Parenting by Jessica Alexander and Iben Dissing Sandahl. The book centers around the idea that the hidden secret that makes the Danes the happiest people in the world (evaluated by two independent international studies) for the last 40 years almost in a row, actually lies in the way they bring up their children.
As human beings, we tend to stick with what we know and that proves especially true in how we parent. We tend to default to raising our kids the way we were raised. The book address is this first and foremost and gives us the task of “evaluating our default settings”.
However, the rest of the Danish Way of Parenting urges us to stop parenting and start P.A.R.E.N.T.ing. What the hell does that mean? Allow me explain it to you and while I do I’ll give you my P.A.R.E.N.T. Plan so you can have a good example for how to build and frame your own!
That all sounds excellent and wonderful but what does it all mean in practice? Well hang on to your diaper bags and hydroflasks because I am going to walk you through what each of these terms means and then what it looks like in our home. Maybe you can find something in these that you may want to emulate or use for your own household! Let’s begin!
P means to PLAY!
That’s right! Play! That sounds so disastrously simple, doesn’t it? I have news for you then, dear parent. It is!
Get down on the ground, on their level! Meet them as an equal in play! This helps kids to feel more secure. Can you imagine being so small and to have this other human, one who holds so much power over you, just towering over you every time they talk or order or shout? Play should be entirely free of stress or power plays. Get down on their level. If they’re doing a puzzle, sit on the floor and do it too. Coloring at the kids table? Pull up a little kid-sized chair and channel your inner artiste! And you know what? That’s exactly what we do too!
Little Mawell’s favorite things that we do together: *Dollhouse/Toy figure imaginative play *Hide and Seek *Painting or crafting *Digging in the dirt, “excavating for dinosaur bones” as she calls it.
A is all about Authenticity
This point is referring to honesty with our children. Honesty also includes not giving false praise. For example, say that your small child makes you a sculpture that looks less like anything recognizable and more like someone crafted the 3-D bastard lovechild of a Picasso and a Salvador Dalí. Instead of grinning through your teeth and giving an obligatory “It’s a masterpiece! I love it!”, chose an interested “I see you worked really hard on that sculpture! Why don’t you tell me about it?” or “Oh, I see you added in some beads with the clay! That’s a very popular art method called ‘mixed media’!”.
Honesty can be hard with our children. We want to protect them from all things that may make them sad or confused. But it’s being exposed to these things that gives them the chance to learn how to cope with them. Nothing demonstrates this more than explaining a family death to a child. With Little Maxwell, when my grandmother and when a family dog died, we explained to her that when people and animals get old, then it comes their time to die.
Everything has its season. Flowers, weather, toys, even people. Everything breaks down, but that doesn’t mean that we can’t keep those people we love in our lives. We put little clay figures we made and pictures of those we loved up on our pantry-top and give them places with us during holidays. Little Maxwell even tells them about her day sometimes.
R is for REFRAMING.
Reframing is a term that means changing the way you look at a problem or misfortune to see it in a positive light. This can be really easy to do in every part of your life!
*Raining when they wanted to play outside? Have a board game tournament or jump in mud puddles! *Dropped the birthday cake? Salvage what you can and make birthday cake shakes with the ice cream! *Friends can’t come to visit? We can still hang out over a phone call, online, or spend some extra special hygge time with our family instead! *Money was stolen? Then maybe it went to someone who needed it so much more at that time. After all, we are so use to the many blessings we have every day that it’s easy to forget that many people end up driven by desperation just to feed themselves or their families. Try to think of it that way instead, something I’ve done before too!
Going back to that last example, we could all admit that we could use a little more empathy in life. Not just for strangers, but for our own children and loved ones. For ourselves too, perhaps. I know that I’m guilty of getting irritable or tired and then just not giving a damn about anything else until I can get some desperately needed rest or quiet.
When I’m that tired, something that happens a little more often than I will admit, I can be quick to irritation, sickness, pain, and thinking less kindly of others than they deserve. Can you say the same or something similar? Are you in a position that it makes it hard to see the good in the world anymore?
It’s okay. You’re not alone.
It makes us feel…ashamed. Guilty. That’s another emotional stress that presses down on the internal pressures you may already be under. It perpetuates the cycle. The best way to end that cycle?
Empathy.
Have empathy for others and for yourself. Even if you don’t feel that you or they deserve it. After all, empathizing with others isn’t about being deserving or having done something to earn it. It’s about not having earned it at all but being able to give and receive it anyways.
N is for No Ultimatums/Fear-Based Discipline
If you, like me, were raised with a no-nonsense, ‘My-Way-or-the-Highway’, ‘Because-I-Said-So’ approach to parenting, then it’s likely that’s what you started out with while raising your own children. It’s our default setting after all. It’s what we were raised with so it’s how we know to do things. That’s not saying that our parents were abusive or cruel, it’s just that those were also likely their default settings too.
It’s human nature, after all. “Stick to what you know”, as the saying goes. But just because that’s what we know, doesn’t mean that those authoritarian practices are what we HAVE to stick to.
The important thing to do, regardless of your views on spanking or timeouts, is to allow them to be heard and understood. They need to feel that they have a voice in their life and home and that you are willing to listen to them, not just hear them talk.
Choose to find out, to ask them, why they behaved a certain way. You may find out, like me, that your little is so crazy before bed because they are trying to stave off sleep for as long as possible. Why? Because they’ve been having nightmares and are afraid to fall asleep. Instead of spanking or isolating them from you or others for a very real and understandable fear, a good approach would be to spend soe quality snuggle time before they go to sleep. Perhaps a security item or a nightlight or checking under the bed before sleep to put them at ease.
These are simple things that can not only increase your bond with your child but lessen blood pressure, stress, and bedtime battles! I know it does for us because we use these exactly same examples just last night!
Now if I could only find out where she saw a ‘scary policeman’…
I implore you to read this section of the Danish Way of Parenting, even go on the website for more information if anything. I believe that in our American culture, this concept is the hardest for us to incorporate. It is difficult. But isn’t the whole point of it all that giving our kids a better outlook on life, preparing them emotionally and intellectually, is the whole point?
T is for Togetherness!
Tender and loving and comfortable. Togetherness feeds the bond that you share with your entire family, your partners, and your friends. A plant cannot grow without sunlight and a relationship, no matter who it’s with, cannot grow without connection time.
A word used freely in the Danish Way of Parenting, for very good reason, is hygge, pronounced ‘hoo-gah’. Hygge may be an unfamiliar term to many of you but it’s a Danish word that translates loosely into “cozy togetherness with loved ones”.
It’s the feeling you get when it’s a snowy day out and you’re snuggled up on the couch with your sweetie, a warm gooey chocolate chip in hand and a bright glow in your chest. Inspiring. Beautiful. It’s living and loving in the moment, being present with the ones you care for.
The main way you can do this, is by spending time together! No together equals no hygge. Even if you aren’t necessarily doing the same thing, you can still have togetherness.
Boardgames, puzzles, or video games together. Candles lit while you watch a movie with your favorite snuggle buddy. Reading time with your little. Trying to make a new recipe together, the whole family contributing an ingredient one at a time and then tasting it after a cozy dinner all together at the table.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I used the word ‘together’ lately!
So that is the P.A.R.E.N.T. Plan that I’ve been using! I hope that it could bring a few ideas into your own practices with your children. Once again, I would highly, highly suggest reading this book if you haven’t already! It’s my favorite of all of the books I’ve read on parenting, period, and that is making quite the statement! Also don’t forget to drop us a follow and share Little Journeys Everywhere! A follow will let you know when our next post drops so you never have to miss a single post!
Hello, Journeyers! So I’ve been meaning to do this book review for some time. I’ve waited this long, not because I don’t like the book, but because I love this book. I wanted to make sure I was going to be able to do it justice. But at last I am here to bring you my take-aways from The Danish Way of Parenting!
I first heard about this book from one of my favorite YouTube channels, The Parenting Junkie. Seriously, check that out because Avital is such an amazing woman and she brings so much to the parenting community by way of education and advice. She even does live streams where you can ask questions about your own child-centered woes. Avital often references books and papers that offer more information on the topic at hand and she did just that in one of her multiple videos on alternative, peaceful parenting (playlist found here).
The Danish Way of Parenting is written by the amazing Jessica Alexander, wife of a Dane and psychologist/cultural researcher, and Iben Dissing Sandahl, a Dane herself as well as an internationally celebrated public speaker. Both women are mothers themselves using the Danish Way that they are now pioneers of. The book is published by TarcherPerigee, subsidiary of Penguin Random House, and had its debut on December 17th 2014, enjoying multiple editions since.
In it, the authors explain what it is that makes the Danish stand out and be named as the happiest people in the world (for almost 40 years in a row!) by the Organisation for Economic Co-operation and Development.
What makes the Danish so different? Do they have less problems? Fewer fears and aggravations? No! According to Alexander and Sandahl, it lies in the way that the Danes parent their children.
Sound odd? Think about it this way. We as humans are creatures of habit and tend to stick to what we know when it comes to parenting our own kids.
Ever heard someone say (or thought yourself), “Well I turned out alright!”?
People usually tend to parent the way they were parented because it’s what they know. The Danish are no exception!
Their parenting style is passed down to their children, and their kids’ kids, and so on to successive generations. In the words of the authors themselves, “resilient, emotionally secure, happy kids who turn into resilient, emotionally secure, happy adults who then repeat this powerful parenting style with their own kids. The legacy repeats itself, and we get a society that tops the happiness charts for more than forty years in a row.”
So what is it that the Danes do differently? The authors sum it up into one helpful device: PARENT.
Play– Why free play creates happier, better adjusted, more resilient adults.
Authenticity– Why honesty creates a stronger sense of self. How praise can be used to form a growth mind-set rather than a fixed mind-set, making your children more resilient.
Reframing– Why reframing can change you and your children’s lives for the better.
Empathy– Why understanding, incorporating, and teaching empathy are fundamental in creating happier children and adults.
No Ultimatums– Why avoiding power struggles and using a more democratic parenting approach fosters trust, resilience, and happier kids.
Togetherness and Hygge (Coziness)– Why a strong social network is one of the most important factors in our overall happiness. How creating hygge (coziness) can help us give this powerful gift to our children.
The book dives deep into each of these points, dedicating a chapter to each concept. Even as I read on, I couldn’t help but be pulled in with interest as the women gave examples of the Danish Way and easy to follow ways that you could implement for your own family!
For us in the Maxwell household, it has taken a heaping spoonful of patience, love, communication, and relearning what it means to engage with our child and really listen so that Little Maxwell feels heard. Already though, we are seeing a change in her behavior and a drastic difference in the stress and anger levels that come with having a three-year old overlord to appease.
So do I like this book enough to recommend it to you?
Abso- freaking- lutely.
Is it the easiest way to parent?
No, but while it may not be the easiest I heartily believe that it is one of the best ways to lead your family and your children to a happier, more compassionate, secure future.
Taking the road of peaceful parenting like the Danish Way is not easy. It involves finding more compassionate solutions to problems rather than the fear-based discipline. It eschews the threat/bribery method of taking away privileges and behavior charts.
We hail from a culture where not using punishments, whether physical or otherwise, to discipline our kids is frowned upon and sneered at. I’d know. I have faced down other people’s opinions on our parenting style multiple times. All of the raised eyebrows and “helpful” advice. So the Danish Way of Parenting is alternative to say the least. But if you feel called to try the Peaceful Parenting method, then I would tell you to pick up a copy of this book asap. Consider taking the Hygge Oath too!
If I could give this book a 1 out of 5 review, I would give it a solid 10. Give it a try! Even if the Danish Way isn’t for you, at the least you’ll walk away from it a little more aware of your own default settings and how they reflect on your own parenting style.
With Peace and Passion.
Ta! ❤
Learn more and engage with other peaceful parents at http://thedanishway.com/ ! Also find them on FB and Twitter.
For those of you who frequent the YouTube space on the internet, you may have heard of the wide sweeping changes that YouTube has put into effect as of January first. Originally meant as a response to YouTube being sued by the Federal Trade Commission or FTC and the New York Attorney General, the lawsuit proved that Google and YouTube, owned by the former, was in violation of COPPA, the Children’s Online Privacy Protection Act. Google had to pay out a whopping $170 million dollar fine for the violation for its collection of the personal data of minors without their parents’ consent. This data is collected in order to place targeted ads on video content. I won’t go too far into that because COPPA actually isn’t what I’m going to talk about today.
This post isn’t about the enormous ramifications that COPPA, while well meaning, is having on YouTube’s content creators themselves. I’ll leave that up to Matthew Patrick at the Game Theory/Film Theory channel who does a far more detailed deep dive and can give a personal accounting of the issue. I’m not a YouTuber, after all, I’m a blogger. His video on COPPA and it’s affects on video creators can be found here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pd604xskDmU&t=966s
Then why mention it at all?
Because I want to talk about the changes YouTube put into effect in response to this suit. These new policies went into effect on January 1st, 2020. No big deal right? YouTube should be a safer place for our kids, right?
Well, yes, but at the same time, as a mother of a toddler, these changes are, well…
They’re a pain in my ass.
‘Holy jammers, Journeys, what the blob?’ you might be thinking.
That’s right. I said it. These new policies are a pain in the ass for parents. Sound cray cray? Let me explain.
So in our household, as well as many, many others, we use streaming services instead of cable. Hulu, Netflix, Disney +, etc. Out of all of these, for us, YouTube is king. It’s got Paw Patrol but also FilmComicsExplained. There’s HomeschoolPop and also Gordon Ramsey swearing at gross restaurant kitchens. Wanna learn how to play Pewdiepie’s Congratulations song on piano? Watch Live PD while doing laundry or just put some sweet, soothing jazz on for Quiet Time? All this and more. It has something for everyone and everything.
On that note, we let Little Maxwell have her “tv time” in the mornings. I put on whatever show it is that she wants to watch that day on YouTube while I go and do housework or write. A lot of times, I would use the ‘queue’ feature to manually add things for her to watch that would keep her interest, that she wanted to see, and that I knew were age appropriate. Other times, I would put on a pre-made playlist either for simple entertainment or for our homeschool. It would have things like the HomeschoolPop videos, book read alouds, Kids Academy, and Emily Arrow’s book songs.
Now you can just forget about that shit.
In order to make their site more “child friendly”, despite the fact that is exactly what the YouTube Kids app is for, YouTube made the following changes to what I’ll call YouTube Main, their main site.
No longer can you:
Comment
Add to a playlist of any kind
Get notifications even if you are a subscriber to that channel.
Become a Member of a channel.
Those are just for us, as viewers. The changes on a creator/channel level are even larger. What’s the big deal about these being locked down on kids videos now?
I can’t put together homeschooling playlists anymore. I can’t be notified when my daughter’s favorite channels post new story videos. I won’t be able to help support my favorite channels with a Membership. I won’t be able to vet the content that my child sees as well or as easily.
Say I’m scrolling through the recommended feed looking for the latest ProfessorStick video and see that an upcoming read-aloud channel did a video of Little Maxwell’s favorite book. I won’t be able to add that video to my Watch Later list or the playlist I have that’s three-year old appropriate. The best I can do is give it a Like and hope I remember to go scroll through my Liked Videos history later to find it after I sacrifice my brain cells on the altar of debunked Flat-Earther claims.
Now I could always put it on a show and just leave it up to the Auto-Play feature to steer her to the next video, right?
You know nothing, John Snow.
Leaving it on autoplay inevitably leads to a different show than the sweet Draw So Cute episode that you left it on and that one leads to another show and so on. Before you know it, your kid is watching something you would really rather not have them watch, like some sort of badly animated freak show excuse for children’s programming.
Sorry, Little Maxwell, you’re show is f*cking creepy. Swerve!
You turn it back to the original, parent-approved safe show on a flat Color Form kid going on adventures, but by then the damage has been done. They’ve been exposed to aforementioned freak show and decide that it’s their new favorite.
Thanks, YouTube. Thanks a lot.
The point I’m getting at is that every time YouTube has some scandal and puts new policies in place to fix it, they tend to…overcorrect. And the nasty thing about overcorrecting is that it often leads to you driving, screaming, right into the path of other unsuspecting motorists.
Unfortunately, this time it’s the creators and the users, the parents, that are left confused and bleeding on that pavement.
Hello all of my journey takers and lifelong explorers! I recently read How To Raise A Wild Child: The Art and Science of Falling In Love with Nature and I want to talk about it!
This piece of literary magnificence is written by Scott Donald Sampson, and let me tell you: this man doesn’t just get a clap-and-a-half, he is the clap-and-a-half! Not only is he a prolific writer, he is a paleontologist by trade, and is currently President and CEO of Science World in British Columbia, Canada. He was previously Vice President of Research & Collections and Chief Curator at the Denver Museum of Nature & Science and is the presenter of the children’s television hit Dinosaur Train!
Sweet Red Hot Resumes, Batman!
So what is so significant about How To Raise A Wild Child? What makes it stand out so much as opposed to his other numerous achievements? After all, this is a post about his book, not the author himself.
How To Raise A Wild Child was a project that was many years in the making, an expose on our generation’s (and the generation we are now raising) ‘Nature Deficit Disorder’, a term coined by another author, Richard Louv, who also writes widely on our children’s need for nature in his book The Last Child In The Woods. A book that, like this one, I cannot recommend enough!
“Nature is a contact sport.”
I loved this book. I loved it while in the car. I loved it while eating lunch, walking under the great oak in my backyard. I even loved it once or twice in the forest, in front of my kid!
Okay, innuendo aside, this book is marvelous. It is beautifully descriptive, stunning in it’s imagery. The way Dr. Sampson speaks of his long adventures beneath the sun and the rain are inspiring, to say the least. His notes on the developmental delays and overall damage that a lack of outdoor exposure cause are just as worrisome.
His words will make you want to jump ship on the housework or work load that you’ve been drudging along beneath, kick off your shoes and go running barefoot through the woods, letting the grass tickle your toes.
As breathtaking as the imagery can be, How To Raise A Wild Child can be a difficult one to get through in one sitting so I recommend buying the book at the link below. Maybe listen to it on audiobook so you can get it in while folding laundry, on your commute, or during a good workout. That is my typical modus operandi nowadays but whatever way you chose, get your pen and paper pads ready and keep them close! You are going to want to take notes on this one!
It’s a brilliant read that was written for parents and teachers, often referring to “your kids” and “your classroom” in equal amounts. Dr. Sampson will have your head spinning with ways that you can incorporate more of the outdoors into your everyday, whether that be with twenty kids or with two.
So go, pick up this book! Loosen up and prepare to get dirty! Prepare to once again delight in finding crystals in a stone, a pond full of tadpoles and building a stick fort, all over again! Your childhood will come sweeping back to you and your children’s childhood will thank you for it.
Little Journeys Everywhere 