My dad is going through radiation treatment for Non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma right now. He just started to lose his hair and it’s been a really hard road for him this year. We’re Tennessee natives and it would really mean a lot for our community to show up for the good for him right now. Our family is very close and so my parents don’t have many wants so instead of raising money for them directly, I’d like to do this fundraiser my birthday this year. If you would like to donate to them directly for his treatments or needs, however, Venmo to @CMcRey. Thank you to everyone for your consideration and please be your most well. ♥️
We were walking to my mother’s home just the net street over after two weeks of zero contact. Both of us were practically frothing to see our family.
We were all so close. ‘The Maxwell Clan’, as a college history professor had joked during roll call when my mum, sister, and I all shared his class together. My family was so accustomed to seeing one another regularly. It was completely normal to get surprise visits and drop ins just to hang out or say hello or even to just bring some treat or another by. Simply because we had been thinking about them.
We loved one another completely and the quarantines had been wearing on us all. Little Maxwell was over the moon to see her Nana but that fact certainly didn’t stop her from taking her sweet. freaking. time getting there. She stopped for every little flower or ditch. Every blade of grass.
My patience had worn rapidly thin.
‘But why?’ I thought suddenly, ‘Why am I in such a hurry? Why am I getting aggravated right now?’
It wasn’t as if we were on a time crunch or had anywhere in particular to be. There were no appointments this afternoon and no particular rush to get back home. The day was our oyster, so why? It took me only a moment or two of quiet contemplation, watching my daughter slide down the side of a driveway embankment as if she were on the jungle gym, before the answer started to reveal itself to me.
Our motivations as children and adults are inherently different.
As a child, we are simply along for the journey, taking the world as it comes. They are in the passenger seat of the car, watching and enjoying the beautiful scenery as it goes by rather than the driver, having to navigate the twisting and often treacherous road ahead.
As grown-ups were so focused on the end goal. Getting from one place to the next, doing what we needs to be done and completely the task so we can move on to the next, then the next, in perpetuity.
But she embraces the adventure of the journey. Step-stepping back and forth across the ditch and stopping to pick wildflowers and interesting rocks, little finds that may or may not make it back into the house with us. To stop as I pointed out the sneaky poison ivy and observing it’s almost hand-shaped leaves. Little light up tennis shoes sparked with every jump and determined step as she danced and explored the road ahead.
Her little face lights up with every new discovery and challenge undertaken. When had we as adults lost that? At what point in life did we stop jumping into challenges or reaching out towards discovery with all of the curiosity of a puppy in a pet store? When had we compressed our spirits? Tucked in the edges of ourselves and made ourselves smaller, more dense as a result?
And who had we done it for?
Sometimes we get low, Sometimes we get down, There are nights when I just Want to lay on the ground.
And not get back up, The thought makes me sick When I think of all the things I’d miss out on if I did.
We all reach a point Where the fight gets old And it’s hard to hang onto Those things you have and hold
Like where’s my point North The direction that I head? Don’t get me wrong, I’m not wishing I was-
Well, you get the idea But as the battles wear on, At times, I look down At the ground that I’m upon,
And wish that I could sleep For just a thousand years or so To rest and to dream To sleep and to slow
All of the stresses That impresses Upon my mind, They need addressing
It’s relentless, All this pressure, Quarantined With too much leisure.
With all the doubts news spitting out People screwing up their thoughts Breathing in the “truths”, Smog from clickbait bots
Until there are so many fears To clammer in your brain Media voices in your head Pouring down like acid rain.
Eroding holes Into the hearts of Man, Wearing away our foundations Breaking them down to just sand.
Seeing my own eroding curiosity mirrored back in opposite brought a sort of sickened realization and, in response, a determination. I never wanted to lose my love of learning, of discovery, exploration, of play.
Giving her a grin, I whistled over to her. Those beloved ocean eyes turned on me with an ansering smile.
“Race you!”
With Peace and Passion (and every growing curiosity!)
In all of the turmoil, fear, and uncertainty, we are all facing some of our darkest days. Information is rampant and widespread, much of it helpful and some of it, unfortunately, not.
However, that’s actually not what I want to talk about today. Today, I don’t want to talk about what we need to do to keep ourselves safe and healthy no matter what the circumstance comes to. I want to talk about what we can do for each other. Obviously, I’m not saying going door-to-door. What I mean is, what we can do for each other here in this online space.
Something I hadn’t heard of yet was a support group for those not just affected by the COVID/Corona virus but for everyone. Everyone who’s dealing with this fear and uncertainty about what tomorrow might bring. I want to establish a place where anyone and everyone is free to go and talk about what their experience is. What they’re afraid of, what they’re dealing with and also a place that we can go to share this time with others and share support with our fellow human beings.
No matter where you’re from, what borders exist between us, or other lines that we may draw between people and places.
So, here on Little Journeys Everywhere, it’s my mission to create a place where all of this can come together. Where all of us can come together. Because right now, the situation is such that we need each other now more than ever before. We need to support, understand, and share with each other more than ever before, possibly in our history.
It’s my prayer that this sort of support group will help many of us, my own family included, get through the heartache, loneliness, depression, and isolation that can come from illness, distance, and quarantine. So we are going to be launching a social media network support system just for you so that we can all come to the other side of this together.
There is another side to this and we will get there.
Have no doubt about that.
Come join us as we launch the Before The Dawn: A Corona Virus Support Group and leave your stories, testimonials, or words of hope, comfort, and support. It will also be a place where we can put resources and stories of hope for those who need them. Before the Dawn is a community that will be open to all, unmonetized, free of politics, fingerpointing, or bullying. It will be a place that, despite quarantines or borders, everyone can come together no matter your level of affectedness.
I implore those of you who have counseling training or experience to reach out and offer your aid whether it is in Before the Dawn or anywhere else!
Before the Dawn will be on Facebook, Tumblr, and Instagram, and will be linked on our Little Journeys pages. Look for those in the next 24 to 48 hours. The Facebook page can already be found here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/539367610029409/ .
Here on the blog main, I will also be posting ways for you and your families (especially our poor kids) to get through times of quarantine as well as other resources to offer all of us hope and just a little bit of security until we can reach that other side.
Hello everyone! As we all know, at certain points in our journeys we often try out new things. Here at the Maxwell home, we’re trying out a new daily routine! We’re always looking for ways to improve upon our health, whether physical or mental, especially with my medical issues the way they are. So, in order to improve upon some things, we’ve started a new daily routine and I wanted to share it with you today.
Routines are especially important for anyone who may be neuro-atypical and both myself and Little Maxwell fall into this category. Even if you don’t, though, just be aware that any change in their usual routine can be pretty difficult for children. Hell, it can be rattling even for many adults! With that in mind, remember to be kind and patient not just with your children but with yourself. None of us are perfect and a routine only becomes a routine after we keep at it!
Another thing to keep in mind is not to be so strict about your routine that there is no room for deviations when necessary. For example, on Daddy Maxwell’s days off, we do our errand running and take our tiny overlord to a few places where she can play with other kids. We usually go to visit her Nana just for the hell of it, at least once, if not her aunts and uncle as well. Remember to make time for close family time too. As I type this, Little and Daddy Maxwell are in our bed having some quiet snuggle time together. Those are the moments that are the most important throughout our days!
With those things out of the way, this is our new daily routine!
Anywhere between 7:30-8 a.m I wake up to spend time with Daddy Maxwell.
Ruin this roasted perfection with sweetener? No, thank you.
I do stretches to get my muscles woken up and work out the stiffness from the night, then my morning regimen of medication with water. After I have water, then I can finally have that sweet, sweet dark roasted ambrosia of the gods. Almond milk, no sugar.
During the time before 9 a.m., I usually write, clean, or game for a little while.
Little Maxwell gets a 9 a.m. wake-up call and she’s allowed to watch her shows or play games on her Leappad (never both at once, though.) until lunchtime.
She gets to pick out what she has for lunch (with mama’s veto if what she wants is, say, gummies) and help with food prep sometimes make it herself with supervision. Afterwards, she helps clean up as well.
After lunch, we take a walk when health permits or have outside play. This is when we’ll usually do Nature School time during the colder months. Usually in the warmer part of the year, we have Nature School before lunch when it’s cooler.
Around 3 o’clock or so, Little Maxwell has Quiet Time when she spends some time on her own either playing quietly or taking a nap but she has the choice of the two. Usually she doesn’t need a nap but sometimes we’ve had a long day. During Quiet Time, I am typically found in the office at my desk or tidying up around the house. This is when I’ll fit in some meditation or yoga.
It’s over at about 5 p.m. but Little Maxwell likes for us to light candles in the interim when the sun starts to go down for “Comfy, Cozy Time”, as she calls it. I’m not sure why it started but it’s become a really nice tradition in our home and the candlelight really does make dinner a more soothing, intimate affair. Besides, it’s good for the electric bill and the environment!
Around six, we do dinner prep and eat together at the table. Dinnertimes are family time for us so we spend it talking about our days and work, even what we saw and learned!
At nine, we feed our pets, I take the last of my medications for the day, and then we head to bed. Oftentimes, once in bed, we do a coloring page together as a nice sort of togetherness moment before sleep. Of course, as any parent knows, a toddler doesn’t just go to bed. It usually takes a whole election season before she actually falls asleep.
At least it feels that way.
That’s when I typically go to sleep as well.
And that’s our routine!
Give or take a few mishaps here and there of course! Even the perfect day doesn’t run on a perfect schedule, as we know. This is the one that works best for us right now but if it doesn’t, then we adjust and keep moving on towards our most passionate, healthy selves. That’s what you should strive for when setting your own daily routine. Is it healthy? Does it leave time for relaxation and down time? Does it take cues and make concessions for you and your child’s development? Or for quality time between you and your partner?
Just remember that you and your child are individuals and each routine has to be unique to you and your family!
Hello all of our journeyers! Today, we’re bringing you more snapshots from our unschooling days! Just a few snippets from the things we’ve done over the past month. I hope you enjoy them and you’re able to get some ideas for yourself and your own family’s journey from these little pieces of our days! Enjoy!
Little Maxwell has become intrigued by words in books lately and she said she wanted to do school things this day. We went to her easel and worked on a letter of her choice: the letter K!
This was a very cool gift for Christmas from her Nana. It’s a blank puzzle that you can color or decorate however. Then you have a personalized puzzle! A perfect gift for the kid who adores a good jigsaw puzzle. These can be found online but this one in particular was actually found in the craft section of Target!
We can’t forget fun with friends! Little Maxwell has plenty of playmates in her cousins and friends. Seriously whoever believes that home educated kids aren’t ‘socialized’ has clearly never home schooled one. These kids will talk to anybody and make friends in any age group!
It’s never too early to start teaching them life skills. Even small things like helping do chores around the house. Young children especially love this because they love doing anything that they see you doing and that makes them feel ‘big’.
On our hanging map of the US, we’ve been going through slowly and adding the cities and towns of the people that we know who live in other states. It’s a great way to introduce some basic geography to kids that they can make a connection to that is relevant to them at this age.
This day we took recycled cans and turned them into seedling planters! Little Maxwell put polka dots on hers.
Little Maxwell decided she wanted to build the creation on the front of her magnetile box one day. Since some of the magnet tiles have been a little scattered around the house by now, we got as close as we were able. She was so proud!
It’s my hope that some of these might inspire you in your own journey, so please let us know in the comments if they do!
Seven for breakfast and seven before bed. An EpiPen, rescue inhaler, a cream and always, always are the hospitals, specialists, and side effects. Special diets and surgeries.
But I’m alive. I’m walking. I’m writing. I’m breathing clearly. I’m spending time outside with my beautiful baby girl and I’m coherent and awake enough to watch her grow more everyday. I give thanks everyday for my pharmacy. For my medical team. For my family who is my greatest support, my solid ground.
My body may be sick, but I am so blessed!
‘The bad days may come but let it be known!
That I can find joy above and below.
I can find peace in the midst of disease.
In my skin, in my blood, these pills are not me.
My name is not Sickness, I do declare!
I challenge the shamers, from everywhere!
So what’s it to you if I need these to live?
Your words are like rain falling down through a sieve.
I am so much more than medications and pain,
You may not see it, your loss is my gain.
I have joy, peace and gladness in me!
You see only pills but my heart is a sea!
Hello, Journeyers! So I’ve been meaning to do this book review for some time. I’ve waited this long, not because I don’t like the book, but because I love this book. I wanted to make sure I was going to be able to do it justice. But at last I am here to bring you my take-aways from The Danish Way of Parenting!
I first heard about this book from one of my favorite YouTube channels, The Parenting Junkie. Seriously, check that out because Avital is such an amazing woman and she brings so much to the parenting community by way of education and advice. She even does live streams where you can ask questions about your own child-centered woes. Avital often references books and papers that offer more information on the topic at hand and she did just that in one of her multiple videos on alternative, peaceful parenting (playlist found here).
The Danish Way of Parenting is written by the amazing Jessica Alexander, wife of a Dane and psychologist/cultural researcher, and Iben Dissing Sandahl, a Dane herself as well as an internationally celebrated public speaker. Both women are mothers themselves using the Danish Way that they are now pioneers of. The book is published by TarcherPerigee, subsidiary of Penguin Random House, and had its debut on December 17th 2014, enjoying multiple editions since.
In it, the authors explain what it is that makes the Danish stand out and be named as the happiest people in the world (for almost 40 years in a row!) by the Organisation for Economic Co-operation and Development.
What makes the Danish so different? Do they have less problems? Fewer fears and aggravations? No! According to Alexander and Sandahl, it lies in the way that the Danes parent their children.
Sound odd? Think about it this way. We as humans are creatures of habit and tend to stick to what we know when it comes to parenting our own kids.
Ever heard someone say (or thought yourself), “Well I turned out alright!”?
People usually tend to parent the way they were parented because it’s what they know. The Danish are no exception!
Their parenting style is passed down to their children, and their kids’ kids, and so on to successive generations. In the words of the authors themselves, “resilient, emotionally secure, happy kids who turn into resilient, emotionally secure, happy adults who then repeat this powerful parenting style with their own kids. The legacy repeats itself, and we get a society that tops the happiness charts for more than forty years in a row.”
So what is it that the Danes do differently? The authors sum it up into one helpful device: PARENT.
Play– Why free play creates happier, better adjusted, more resilient adults.
Authenticity– Why honesty creates a stronger sense of self. How praise can be used to form a growth mind-set rather than a fixed mind-set, making your children more resilient.
Reframing– Why reframing can change you and your children’s lives for the better.
Empathy– Why understanding, incorporating, and teaching empathy are fundamental in creating happier children and adults.
No Ultimatums– Why avoiding power struggles and using a more democratic parenting approach fosters trust, resilience, and happier kids.
Togetherness and Hygge (Coziness)– Why a strong social network is one of the most important factors in our overall happiness. How creating hygge (coziness) can help us give this powerful gift to our children.
The book dives deep into each of these points, dedicating a chapter to each concept. Even as I read on, I couldn’t help but be pulled in with interest as the women gave examples of the Danish Way and easy to follow ways that you could implement for your own family!
For us in the Maxwell household, it has taken a heaping spoonful of patience, love, communication, and relearning what it means to engage with our child and really listen so that Little Maxwell feels heard. Already though, we are seeing a change in her behavior and a drastic difference in the stress and anger levels that come with having a three-year old overlord to appease.
So do I like this book enough to recommend it to you?
Abso- freaking- lutely.
Is it the easiest way to parent?
No, but while it may not be the easiest I heartily believe that it is one of the best ways to lead your family and your children to a happier, more compassionate, secure future.
Taking the road of peaceful parenting like the Danish Way is not easy. It involves finding more compassionate solutions to problems rather than the fear-based discipline. It eschews the threat/bribery method of taking away privileges and behavior charts.
We hail from a culture where not using punishments, whether physical or otherwise, to discipline our kids is frowned upon and sneered at. I’d know. I have faced down other people’s opinions on our parenting style multiple times. All of the raised eyebrows and “helpful” advice. So the Danish Way of Parenting is alternative to say the least. But if you feel called to try the Peaceful Parenting method, then I would tell you to pick up a copy of this book asap. Consider taking the Hygge Oath too!
If I could give this book a 1 out of 5 review, I would give it a solid 10. Give it a try! Even if the Danish Way isn’t for you, at the least you’ll walk away from it a little more aware of your own default settings and how they reflect on your own parenting style.
With Peace and Passion.
Ta! ❤
Learn more and engage with other peaceful parents at http://thedanishway.com/ ! Also find them on FB and Twitter.
Even on the nastiest, muddiest winter days, spent between hospital and doctors offices, there are beautiful treasures to be found if only you open your eyes to see.
Nashville has some truly stunning architecture!Playing and hanging upside down during a visit to ID at Vanderbilt’s Childrens Hospital! Play is the best way to keep kids from getting too anxious during these visits. Laughter keeps the mood light and for Little Maxwell, hanging upside down is a necessary sensory experience and is something she craves during the day. If your kids keep doing silly things like that, let them! It may be that their brains and bodies need that in that moment for crucial developmental growing.
Little Journeys Everywhere 